John's comments really spoke to me . . .
Last year, we tried to switch our family's focus to yule/solstice, and on simplicity and giving. We made it to a certain extent, but I can't get buy in from everyone in my family, and I feel dragged along on Christian-oriented elements of the seasons. I LOVE Christmas music, almost all of it, even if it doesn't reflect what I believe. I think I love it because music is my connection to that warm and snuggly feeling of my childhood. I've purchased yule and revels music to make these part of my children's auditory memories and traditions.
Last year, Ashlan helped me create our own advent calendar that will be part of our own family's tradition (I modeled it off of the one my mom created from felt when I was a kid, but ours is more focused on winter/yule symbols). We celebrated the solstice with a big celebration at TUUC (we decided to focus on the "Simplicity Vespers" instead this year). However, I found Xmas day miserable, with family politics, over-gifting, greed, and the like. I never enjoy this, but I am part of the problem (I'm over sensitive about gifts and traditions). My goal this year is to help my sons see that this time can be peaceful and reflective, about giving and family and welcoming winter and a new year. Being in the Revels this year is making this both harder and easier . . . I guess we'll see how we manage in December!
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Perhaps the trick would be to develop an advent calendar that actually has specific religious images from around the world, then reserve the last one for the chalice! There's a tradition, yes?
I hope that as Rose gets older the focus can be on the giving as opposed to the receiving end, but after all, I was a kid, too. So I well remember the amount of time I spent thinking about that potential race-car-track was never quite proportional that spent on the "thing" I got for Mom.
But dinner time is the moment when we, as parents, might just ask our kids certain questions like: "How does it feel when you see daddy opening the gift you got for him"? And "How does that compare to how it feels when you open your gift from him"?
That way there isn't necessarily a revealed bias, but at least the child knows that both questions are important.
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